Spring Cleaning
It's been a rough 2009 so far, at least for my health. Between the cold that wouldn't leave for nearly two months, some pretty severe sleep deprivation, and more stress than usual, I've turned to comfort foods and comfort wine a bit more than I probably should. Author-Sarah would hardly care about a few extra pounds. I am, after all, in my 30s and married. Isn't that when we're all allowed to get fat?
But on-camera Sarah has to care. About a week ago, I decided to go back to what's always helped me slim down and feel happier before: The South Beach Diet and a few hours a week sweating on the elliptical listening to loud rock music. But no sooner did I Twitter something about these plans, then a trove of friends all told me I should try a juice cleanse instead.
I had one initial objection: That just sounds way too California. I already do Pilates three times a week and eat more tofu than I do red meat. I have to keep true to some of my Memphis roots, or they may not let me back in for BBQ-fest.
As I did more research on BluePrint Cleanse-- the company that everyone from Julia Allison to Michael Arrington have gone to for cleansing needs-- there were a few other red flags.
For one thing, no coffee. Whoa. Really? How do you expect me to work an 18-hour day without coffee? And what am I supposed to do when I, um, go write at a coffee shop? With apologies to Kevin Rose, drinking tea in a coffee shop is also in that way-too-California bucket.
Second: Colonics. You're supposed to get them before, during and after the cleanse. Um, no. Not happening. I'm a curmudgeonly writer! We don't "do" colonics! In fact, my blogging software doesn't even recognize the concept-- the spell check keeps trying to change the word to "colonies."
Third: It's $85 a day for people outside of New York! We're in a depression if you hadn't noticed. I had to take another job just to justify buying a Kindle.
Slowly, each of those objections got settled. One: The recommended cleanse is only three days long. Surely, I can handle no coffee for three days, if I can handle no sugar for 14 days on the South Beach Diet. If nothing else, I can put green tea is an opaque mug with a lid so no one sees it.
Two: The BluePrint folks said colonics were optional. We opted for "Hells no!"
Three: They comped my first cleanse.
Four: Mr. Lacy agreed to do it with me. We start tomorrow.
I still did the South Beach Diet, Phase 1 for a week and a half, only cheating to drink some wine to toast a few very special events last week, but impressively ignoring the five boxes of Girl Scout Cookies in the kitchen and every stitch of bread or pasta that was put in front of me. And I haven't weighed myself, but my clothes are fitting way looser already. I've also spent the last few days weaning myself off of coffee (oh the horror!), meat, and anything processed, per the pre-cleanse instructions. (Dairy has been harder because I tend to drink gallons of fat free milk when I can't have wine or beer. Weird, I know.) I sent Mr. Lacy to work today with strict instructions not to drink any Cokes and to have a veggie burger with no cheese for lunch. I think we're as ready for this weird, hippy cleanse as we'll ever be.
As skeptical as I was, I've got pretty high expectations for the results after all this raving about how the cleanse would change my life. If I emerge healthier, with more energy and a flat tummy, I may indeed pony up $250 a month for it in the future. (Maybe. No colonics.)
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You can try the Henry Rollins diet, it's fairly simple:
1. Eat less
2. Eat better
3. Move your a$$
Apologies for the bluntness, that is verbatim how he "pitches" it.
Posted by: bill | March 16, 2009 at 03:39 PM
i think that's pretty much the same thing as my plan A. i guess the point of the cleanse is it's not really about losing weight but repairing you. i agree: eating better, less and working out is a pretty easy way to do that. i'll let you know if it works...
Posted by: sarah lacy | March 16, 2009 at 03:47 PM
I recently tried actual fasting. That is, I had nothing but water. I did this for 3 days. In years past, I'd gone 24 hours with just water. 3 days is a big commitment. However, there is some fascinating science about how actual fasting (zero calories for 72 hour) can effect your health. Fasting apparently increases the activity of
the sirtuins in your cells:
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=eat-less-to-live-longer
We multi-celled creatures live with the odd reality that each cell in our body needs to be specialized, yet it contains the genes needed to produce the proteins for any of the other cells in our body. A cell in your kidney can produce a protein that is specific for your retina. A cell in your brain can make proteins that are only needed in the lining of your stomach. For any one cell, much of the genetic material is unneeded. And apparently, it is the job of sirtuins to lock down most of the DNA in each cell, and make sure that each cell remains true to its specialty. But as we get older, the sirtuins become less effective. However, when we are fasting, sirtuins become highly active again. This seems to be one of the main reasons that restricted dietary intake leads to longer life spans.
Fasting left me feeling sort of clear and intense. Also tired, a tiredness that lasted into e 4th day, even though I was eating again. It's an interesting experience. Sort of like visiting Europe, I think everyone should try it at least once in their lifetime.
One can also make the "it's natural" argument for fasting. In pre-industrial times, people were exposed to famine something like 1% to 10% of their lives (I've read different numbers in different places). Our bodies are shaped to expect occasional bouts of famine. A world in which there are always abundant supplies of food is "unnatural", to whatever extent you're willing to believe that humans have some kind of essential nature.
I had a surprisingly easy time concentrating and working the first day. The second day, I got some work done, but I wasn't at top form. The third day I had to treat as a kind of vacation.
It's hard for me to find the time to do this, as it is something I have to mentally gear up for, but I'd like to try this again. That fasting has health benefits is undeniable. I'd recommend it to anyone who has an adventurous spirit and can find a free weekend.
This is also a good article on sirtuins:
http://ouroboros.wordpress.com/2009/03/09/is-it-hot-in-here-or-is-it-just-sirt1-sirtuins-activate-heat-shock-transcription/
Basically, sirtuins play an important role in ensuring that DNA transcription happen correctly, at the right time, for the right proteins. Age causes sirtuins to lose their effectiveness or accuracy, and for some reason fasting seems to re-activate sirtuins.
Posted by: Lawrence Krubner | March 19, 2009 at 02:39 AM
You're right- you gotta watch it or you might get banned from BBQ Fest this May. And you KNOW how bad that would be!
Posted by: James Hutto | March 24, 2009 at 10:23 PM
I suppose you should be happy you didn't waste any money on this bollocks.
Cleansing and detoxing is absolute rubbish. Of course you'll lose weight if you spend 3 days just drinking juice. And if you spend a further few days "preparing" by cutting out "bad" parts of your diet, that'll probably help too. You could just as easily do this with some regular fruit juice that doesn't cost $85 a day.
Please read the NY Times article linked below and Ben Goldacre's writings on detox here: http://www.badscience.net/category/detox/
“There is absolutely no scientific basis for the assertion that the regimens popularly defined as ‘detox’ will augment the body’s own capacity for identifying and eliminating your own metabolic wastes or doing the same for environmental toxins,” Dr. Pressman said. “I advise patients that these detox programs amount to a large quantity of excrement, both literally and figuratively.”
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/22/fashion/22skin.html?_r=1&pagewanted=1&ref=style
Posted by: Robin | April 06, 2009 at 07:25 AM
Yeah i guess so..no need to spend your precious money on those....its cost is bit high..wait for sometime.
Posted by: colonics | July 08, 2009 at 12:11 AM