If I *Were* Accepting Gifts...

...I'd want this. But I'm not, so don't buy it. Donate instead! I have to say my decision only to give to charity this year (and only accept donations in my name) is one of the most freeing things I've ever done. It sounds cliche, but it really has allowed me to reflect and focus on the year and what this time of year is supposed to mean for all of us.

Of course, that doesn't mean I'm not giving you guys a gift, in the form of a spectacular happy hour at Beauty Bar this Thursday. Don't miss it!! You'll get a drink ticket if you tell Olivia you're afraid of swimming. And if you don't get that reference, you haven't read my book, so just lie and say you get it. You might get another drink ticket if you tell me what you liked best about the book. Or just wear something festive. Or your name is Sam Purtill. Looking at the RSVP list I have a feeling this party is going to put us in the poor house...

ALSO: bring quarters because there's a photo booth at the Beauty Bar and the manicurist will be on duty, all you metros. Olivia has also consulted with the DJ on the play list so expect to dance. (She might give you lessons if you are lucky.)