Bookmark this Page if You Want to Pitch Me (Or Any Reporter)

I don't hate PR people. Really. When I say some of them are my best friends, I actually mean that. (Shout out to Miss Hammerling! Holla!) I just don't understand why 90% of them lack total common sense. It's as if there's some George Costanza do-the-opposite-of-every-instinct school of mass PR indoctrination. When I call a CEO to ask him to take time from his busy-- and more important-- schedule of running a company to grant me an interview, I take the time to, oh, say, get his name right.

To review, here are some basic rules if you want me to consider what you are saying -- you know the pitch your client is actually paying you hundreds of dollars per hour to make on its behalf? Especially considering the deck is stacked against you from the beginning, since most reporters get hundreds of pitches a day and almost never write a story that comes from a pitch.

1. GET MY NAME RIGHT. It is Sarah Lacy. Not Stacy Lacy. Not Lucy Stacy. Nor is it Lucy Lacy.

2. Know what I do for a living. I am not a beat writer for BusinessWeek. I am a columnist for BusinessWeek, a blogger here, and co-host for TechTicker on Yahoo Finance. (Which is actually not called "TechTickler") I know it's confusing, but really, it's not that confusing.

3. Know where I live. 60% of the pitches I get start out "MEET WITH (REDACTED) WHILE HE'S IN NEW YORK FOR A DAY?" What part of "She lives in San Francisco" at the bottom of every thing I write and in every bio sounds like I live in New York? And, if that wasn't a tip-off, how about the fact that my column is called Valley Girl?

4. If I don't know you or your client and you find yourself about to invite me to a dinner party less than 24 hours before it starts, just stop. First off, I am almost never free during weeknights and when I am, I like to actually see my husband for once. Plus, it reads like you have a seat because someone more important canceled. In social situations, most people would consider that rude. So I wasn't going to come and now the only association I have with your client is negative. Job well done, genius!

(Sorry, people with brains reading this. No sleep + dumb emails + no coffee this AM = rant.)