Memo to Stephanie Meyer: Put the Internet Down and Slowly Back Away

In July I was in New York at a friend's house and picked up a copy of an Entertainment Weekly from his coffee table because, yes, the young actors of the upcoming Twilight movie were on the cover. I'm no band wagoner. My niece, Ramie, turned me onto Stephanie Meyer's vampire series back in 2006 when Meyer was only on book number two, and, well, I was on my own book number one and in desperate need of an engaging read on a flight back to California. I typically do my best writing on the plane, but my laptop was experiencing epic problems the Memphis Apple store refused to address. (That's another story, read my vicious Yelp review here if you care. Scroll down to "Sarah L.")

I opened my niece's well-worn version of Twilight as soon as I got in my seat. The next thing I knew: "Ding! Flight attendants prepare the cabin for arrival." It was an utterly captivating and engrossing read that I immediately told everyone I knew about, addicting a good number of my adult friends.

Recently, as the press was crowing Meyer the new JK Rowling, an un-initiated friend asked me how furious I was as a writer that someone writing stories about Vampires would make so much money. "Not at all," I answered. I admired Meyer for following her dream and her ability to weave a narrative that sucks you in and destroys all space and time. I take writing cues from all sources-- as Katie Hafner lovingly pointed out, classic AP style isn't necessarily my favorite. (In fact, I think it kinda sucks the life out of a story, but shhhhhh! Journalists are all supposed to pretend it's awesome and people love it.) The ex-English major in me was fascinated by technically how she did it as the writing didn't seem particularly sophisticated on the surface, and the tired-of-thinking-about-business-and-tech side of me just wanted to be entertained. I couldn't be happier for her mainstream success.

So, I was sad to read in that E. Weekly about all her struggles with the Internet and the very, um, nuanced breed of rabid love and hate fans that come with it.

I can't seem to find the article online and the friend whose coffee table I grabbed it from wouldn't let me keep it. (Seriously, Tim???) But it struck a chord. It was stunning to me that someone so on top of her game, so universally loved had to deal so heavily with hate and hurt feelings online and despite a brave face, seemed to be struggling with it so greatly. She even mentioned that despite a flood of new ideas for books, she didn't know how many more she'd actually publish, or just write for herself. I know commenter Shelley will leave some note about how it "always has to come back to me," but I was struck reading the article with just how many times I've literally said many of the same things Meyer was telling the reporter and how deeply universal that human feeling of "What did I do to make you hate me so much?" is becoming in our Web-centric culture. It was reassuring to know "Clearly everyone gets this stuff" and at the same time sad that "This just never ends, does it?"

Of course, in my case I have two advantages: My notoriety is infinitesimal compared to Meyer's and limited to the tech/business realm. That niche also gives me my second advantage: I live in the land of the Web. The first time I got brutally attacked, I immediately got an outpouring of private, kind notes from entrepreneurs reassuring me that everyone gets attacked online and to take it in stride. I also followed the advice of a lot of entrepreneurs I respect and just stopped reading a lot of it. It's a fine line between listening to your audience (all attacks do contain some legitimate criticism you can learn from) but tuning out people who only want to hurt you and drag you down. Just like you would filter how many blog posts and Twitter commentary you might read about, say, Sarah Palin or Paris Hilton, (Hey, US Weekly seems to be relegating them to the same category these days!) so too do you have to apply a filter to news and opinion about yourself.

Today there's news that Meyer's latest manuscript "Midnight Sun" was leaked online, and she's so devastated she has put it off indefinitely. As a writer, I can totally relate to the feeling of violation. I felt like I was going to throw up for an entire week before my galleys went out-- and I was as ready as I would ever be to send them out. But I hope she can do two things. The first is recognize that this is the world we live in for better or for worse, and focus on her craft and close the browser a bit. Yes, it may be wrong. But as artists of all types know, there's little we can do about it and ultimately pirated copies drive more hype and more sales. The second is to realize that the reason it was leaked-- while wrong-- is directly related to how successful she has been in delighting readers and captivating imagination, which is ultimately the job of a great writer. Be grateful for that!

Ultimately, my advice to Meyer is the same thing I've learned from watching maverick innovators and entrepreneurs up close: Focus on what you can control, listen to your own internal compass, and f--k the haters. (Sorry, mom.) Nothing online is ever as bad -- or widespread-- as it seems.