BitchBuzz v. Jezebel

I started following the Jezebel girls about six months ago, and practically danced a little jig over their sarcastic slant on our degenerative world. Indeed, I think we had a misty-eyed bonding experience when they completely excoriated the Sex and the City movie and its preceding media frenzy. Although the television show may have been amusing, thank-you for enumerating your true unabashed hate of the film, dear Jezzies. For a while, I figured I was alone in my belief that there was a four-headed, garish, insipidly “punny” Cerberus guarding the gates to hell.

However, over time, and with a bit more digging, I realized bloggers can only sling so many carefully constructed zingers. Snark weighs you down and sucks the compassion out of a person. I call it squeezing the faith. Look no further than the user comments on any given post. The comment formula is downright dreary. “Oh really Jezebel? Guess what happened to ME? [insert long story] And while I’m at it, @dildobaggins, you’re stupid...” [Ed. note: Snark is the lazy blogger's way out when you have little to add. Even Nick Denton whose Gawker empire has brought us endless snark says that.]

Even with interesting posts and a high laugh-factor, Jezebel is a well-lubed machine (not unlike the other members of Gawker’s media entourage) despite its tagline of “Celebrity, Sex, Fashion, for Women. Without Airbrushing.” I disagree, Jez. You’re the equivalent of the streamlined woman that always has her hair and nails did (albeit, carefully tousled, and painted black) her designer jeans distressed just so, and the appropriately witty commentary on lock. I want to hang out with you because you’re fun, but I also want to see you trip in public.

Honestly, sometimes I just need a little frump. Sometimes, I want to hang with the woman who is perhaps a little awkward, but also very charming and very nice (and may or may not be wearing clogs.) That’s where Bitchbuzz comes in. Being only three days on the scene, I will definitely cut them some slack. Their plans to eschew the “overly snarky, ridiculously serious, or disappointingly fluffy” formulas are a reach, but I applaud them for trying.

So far, they have yet to realize and embody a style of their own, and thus dip into the aforementioned categories on occasion (in the name of Yaz and everything holy, I know it is ok to have lots of sex and hoist up my voluptuous bosom in slinky lingerie. I GET IT). However, the over-all writing is well-thought and seemingly genuine with the kind of cheek only Brits can pull off. And kudos for being brazen enough to include pictures of the authors! That in of itself takes more courage than launching a thousand magnanimous attacks whilst hiding under a cloak of commenter anonymity.

I also congratulate Bitchbuzz for entering the no-no zone of home and hearth (see “Why Every Bad-ass Woman Should Knit”) Often on women’s blogs, this is laugh-worthy, as women who command high salaries, wear killer stilettos, and French-tickle in the bedroom, shouldn’t be caught dead channeling housewife stereotypes. I disagree. It is possible to run a business, wear cute clothes, and have an overwhelming obsession with cats and crockpots (just ask Sarah…oops let that one slip!). As for me, knitting isn’t really my thing, but the group of chic, hipster women I saw clacking away over their pinot noir at Delfina would probably beg to differ.

All in all, Bitchbuzz seems to examine the major areas of womanhood, and yet still come across without pretense. It’s all about the little things- not just that Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards are terrible parents, but that Charlie begrudgingly paid for his daughters’ immunization in 7,600 nickels. You can’t beat that for the lowest common denominator! Just as I like Jezebel for their multi-faceted scorn, I like Bitchbuzz for their nice simplicity. Which probably stems from the fact that they haven’t set up the comments feature yet. In that case, my opinion remains moot for the next few weeks.

But as a last thought, please oh please I am BEGGING you Bitchbuzz, re-evaluate Esmerelda the Sex Columnist’s role in this endeavor. I think I wrote her exact column in attempts to be cool and edgy as a college freshman trying out for my school’s ultra-conservative newspaper. Needless to say, I failed miserably. Thus, I pray that Esmerelda sees the light, because the detailed sex-life schtick, whether in real life or on the internet, has been done too many times to count. AND I distinctly remember the character Samantha quipping the “try-sexual” line in a Sex and the City episode. (Satan, is that you?) Now, if a SATC parallel ain’t bad, then I have no idea what’s good…which would then make this whole post irrelevant at best.