Slander Online

My friend Catherine Holahan does a nice job talking about an issue that's very personal to me: The damaging affects of malicious anonymous comments online. I have long since stopped Googling my name and have finally convinced my husband having a Google Alert on me is just more anger than it's worth. In fact, just yesterday I related these sentiments to my mother-in-law who says there are several user names she has burned in her head and will one day seek revenge on for things they've written about me. (You know who you are! Watch your back!) She suggested at the very least making T-shirts that read "I Twitter, because I'm bitter" to give away (FREE OF CHARGE!) to any Sarah Lacy haters. ACT NOW! MAY SELL OUT!

I really empathize with the girls in Catherine's story and am glad these sites weren't around when I was in high school and college. That said, I think only morons believe anonymous cowards. I, for one, have had loads of horrible things written about me and never lost a job, assignment or even a single source as a result. People are smart. They get to know you and make their own judgments. They do consider the source. So as horrible as it may feel at that moment it blows over, and per the "Lacy Principle" it's almost always a net positive.

So, ultimately I'm on the side of free speech as much as I loathe sites like JuicyCampus and agree with Michael Arrington that we may see a gossip site suicide. (Although, I think there are far worse culprits of this than ValleyWag.) And I have one absurdly Utopian hope based on the fact that you only really get how damaging and hurtful it is when this happens to you. Don't laugh, but maybe it gets so ubiquitous that everyone sees how it feels and thinks twice before slandering someone. More realistically: Maybe it just gets so ubiquitous that it's all just absurd noise that becomes even more irrelevant.

Comments

[adventureran]

Once again a very poignant, candid and sincere post. One thing that too often gets lost with our fast-paced, knee jerk, reactionary tendency to comment on boards and blogs is the human aspect. It is far too easy to anonymously ridicule than to have the courage and intelligence to face each other, get to know each other, and then openly and honestly discuss our differences. With the right to free speech comes the responsibility to use it wisely. Thank you again.

[sarah lacy]

thanks for the comment and link adventureran! btw- i see from your site you like baseball and cats too...no wonder we agree on stuff!! we're the same person! ;)

[BOFD]

You rock, Sarah Lacy. Don't let the naysayers bring you down.

[Owen Byrne]

The passage about gossip suicide is topical. Did you ever think that your form of gossip (aka business reporting) might inflict similar pain?

CEOs and other C-level "professionals" love to take credit for other people's work and the business press seems to just play along, without any real attempt at investigative journalism, and seemingly ignorant of the pain they have caused.

So never mind the "juicy gossip" suicide theory, I'm sure there have already been Business Week suicides.

[Chuck T]

Way back in journalism school we were given the assignment of writing a profile about a classmate. The lesson was supposed to be for us to hear how our lives sounded in another's words giving us the experience that those we write about feel. For me, I remember having that story read in front of the subject and seeing her jump a couple of times. That gave me pause... and still does.

It's not so much about being being slammed... but gaining an understanding of how your words and actions can be perceived, twisted and morphed.

[sarah lacy]

thanks for the note chuck. i never took a journalism class and have always heard mixed things about how helpful it is career-wise. but that sounds like a fantastic exercise. i was really worried about the guys in my book reading it not because i wanted to PLEASE them, but because i was writing such personal things in their lives, and there was so much vulnerability i wanted to make sure i wasn't misconstruing or taking a cheap shot.